Saturday, August 16, 2008

The drying rack

In June, as I was getting to know a new man in my life, I bought a drying rack at Bed, Bath and Beyond. It was a simple wooden one that should have been easy to put together and add into my normal laundry routine. The same evening I bought it, I sat on the floor in my living room carefully reading the instructions and identifying each piece. With directions in hand, I began to build a drying rack.

Thirty minutes later I was frustrated, agitated and my drying rack was laying in heap. I couldn't get it to work. Regardless of the effort and time I put in to trying to set up this drying rack, it wouldn't stay. 2 1/2 months later and having just snipped the tie to the former new man, it seems as though this drying rack symbolizes the relationship.

With both, as soon as I thought "hey, this could work out" it would fall apart again. Set backs, frustration, disappointment. I wonder why, with my drying rack I gave up on it within a few days and threw it out, while with the man I let him linger around for a few months - continuing to set back up and fall down. It's energy exhausted and time wasted. Lesson learned.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Flying high


There's a common misconception among men that women who know what they like are picky and high maintenance. Last night, while discussing jewelry styles, trends and ultimately which designer I prefer, a man I know said those exact words to me.

"You're picky and high maintenance."

I was surprised and said "because I know which style of jewelry I prefer? Knowing what works for me and what doesn't shouldn't qualify me as picky and high maintenance."

Sure, I'm picky about the food I eat, the beverages I drink, and perfume I wear, but in general I'm always willing to try new things. I'm not one to cast something aside because I'm just not sure about it - instead I follow my motto, Carpe Diem, and plunge into the unknown. Afterwards I'm able to decide if it's a like or dislike. This isn't something to be ashamed of.

Everyone is picky. As for high maintenance, yes I qualify....but for myself. I never expect my friends or boyfriend to buy me only things I like [and refuse the things that I don't like], only go to the places I prefer, or insist that they change a part of themselves to fit into my idea of fabulous. Everyone I know is fabulous is their own way. They have issues, can play a drama queen card when necessary, but are completely infallible and wonderful.

So, to my dear male friends I say....let me, and all women, be.


**psycho bitches are not part of crowd**

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Y Chromosome


Men who are bad for us. It happens all the time. It's a hot topic of conversation on our favorite TV shows, is splashed across our chick lit books, and is a reality that we face every time we meet a new man. Why do we continue to put ourselves in the mercy of men who are bad for us?

Charlotte York said that woman just want to be rescued. It can also be assumed that most women don't want to be alone. When will we start putting ourselves first?

My friends who are still in the dating scene meet men, text back and forth, and then realize that he seems to be playing a game. A game that can drag on and on without a clear ending in sight. How many other women is he dating? Why is he always asking me to do things with him at the very last minute? I personally don't like games and my friends are certainly better than the games the Y chromosome likes to play. We're not 6 years old anymore....pass Go and grow up.

I'll admit that it is hard to cut those type of guys off sometimes. We've all been there. Yes, we may remain emotionally unavailable, keeping our options open, but when that text comes in you know that someone out there just thought about you. It's a nice feeling. It doesn't matter that he's probably only sending that little text simply to keep you on his radar.

Is it asking too much to find someone who likes a woman who is a lovely blend of independent/dependent, funny, smart, classy, and enjoys an array of different outdoor...and indoor...activities? Is it asking too much for a man who is willing to put time into getting to know one person instead of playing the field - hopping from one girl to the next - until he finds a rare form of perfection....which normally ends up in breakup ville or divorce, because let's face it, no one is perfect and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise. All of my single girlfriends fit into the above description and deserve the best of what's out there. If only they could find it. And until this mystical form of Y chromosome comes out from hiding, I'm afraid that many of us will continue to hang on to men who do more harm than good.

Jesse McCartney has it right when he belts out:

Why don't you tell him that I'm leavin'
never looking back again
You found somebody who does it better than he can
No more making you cryNo more them gray skies
Girl we flying on a g-5, g-5
And we're leavin' never looking back again
So call your shawty you tell him you found a new man

A bit corny? Yes. A bit true? Definitely. Let's leave the bad behind and find someone who does it better.