The drying rack

In June, as I was getting to know a new man in my life, I bought a drying rack at Bed, Bath and Beyond. It was a simple wooden one that should have been easy to put together and add into my normal laundry routine. The same evening I bought it, I sat on the floor in my living room carefully reading the instructions and identifying each piece. With directions in hand, I began to build a drying rack.

Thirty minutes later I was frustrated, agitated and my drying rack was laying in heap. I couldn't get it to work. Regardless of the effort and time I put in to trying to set up this drying rack, it wouldn't stay. 2 1/2 months later and having just snipped the tie to the former new man, it seems as though this drying rack symbolizes the relationship.

With both, as soon as I thought "hey, this could work out" it would fall apart again. Set backs, frustration, disappointment. I wonder why, with my drying rack I gave up on it within a few days and threw it out, while with the man I let him linger around for a few months - continuing to set back up and fall down. It's energy exhausted and time wasted. Lesson learned.

Flying high

There's a common misconception among men that women who know what they like are picky and high maintenance. Last night, while discussing jewelry styles, trends and ultimately which designer I prefer, a man I know said those exact words to me.

"You're picky and high maintenance."

I was surprised and said "because I know which style of jewelry I prefer? Knowing what works for me and what doesn't shouldn't qualify me as picky and high maintenance."

Sure, I'm picky about the food I eat, the beverages I drink, and perfume I wear, but in general I'm always willing to try new things. I'm not one to cast something aside because I'm just not sure about it - instead I follow my motto, Carpe Diem, and plunge into the unknown. Afterwards I'm able to decide if it's a like or dislike. This isn't something to be ashamed of.

Everyone is picky. As for high maintenance, yes I qualify....but for myself. I never expect my friends or boyfriend to buy me only things I like [and refuse the things that I don't like], only go to the places I prefer, or insist that they change a part of themselves to fit into my idea of fabulous. Everyone I know is fabulous is their own way. They have issues, can play a drama queen card when necessary, but are completely infallible and wonderful.

So, to my dear male friends I say....let me, and all women, be.

**psycho bitches are not part of crowd**

Y Chromosome

Men who are bad for us. It happens all the time. It's a hot topic of conversation on our favorite TV shows, is splashed across our chick lit books, and is a reality that we face every time we meet a new man. Why do we continue to put ourselves in the mercy of men who are bad for us?

Charlotte York said that woman just want to be rescued. It can also be assumed that most women don't want to be alone. When will we start putting ourselves first?

My friends who are still in the dating scene meet men, text back and forth, and then realize that he seems to be playing a game. A game that can drag on and on without a clear ending in sight. How many other women is he dating? Why is he always asking me to do things with him at the very last minute? I personally don't like games and my friends are certainly better than the games the Y chromosome likes to play. We're not 6 years old anymore....pass Go and grow up.

I'll admit that it is hard to cut those type of guys off sometimes. We've all been there. Yes, we may remain emotionally unavailable, keeping our options open, but when that text comes in you know that someone out there just thought about you. It's a nice feeling. It doesn't matter that he's probably only sending that little text simply to keep you on his radar.

Is it asking too much to find someone who likes a woman who is a lovely blend of independent/dependent, funny, smart, classy, and enjoys an array of different outdoor...and indoor...activities? Is it asking too much for a man who is willing to put time into getting to know one person instead of playing the field - hopping from one girl to the next - until he finds a rare form of perfection....which normally ends up in breakup ville or divorce, because let's face it, no one is perfect and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise. All of my single girlfriends fit into the above description and deserve the best of what's out there. If only they could find it. And until this mystical form of Y chromosome comes out from hiding, I'm afraid that many of us will continue to hang on to men who do more harm than good.

Jesse McCartney has it right when he belts out:

Why don't you tell him that I'm leavin'

never looking back again

You found somebody who does it better than he can

No more making you cryNo more them gray skies

Girl we flying on a g-5, g-5

And we're leavin' never looking back again

So call your shawty you tell him you found a new man

A bit corny? Yes. A bit true? Definitely. Let's leave the bad behind and find someone who does it better.

A Bachelorette Extravaganza

This past weekend I traveled up to Atlantic City to celebrate my friend A's upcoming nuptials. When this particular group of friends get together, drama and excitement is a guarantee. A was decked out in her pink bachelorette sash, tiara, diamond shaped shot-glass ring and a white tank that said "Bride." The rest of us, dressed in black shirts, took A over to the Borgata for dinner, drinks, and of course......a fabulously drunken time.

After dinner at Specchio, we hit the casino for a bit and then migrated into B Bar. There, we decided it would be a brilliant idea to play power hour with our diamond shot glass rings - the only problem is that the shot glass ring is less than half the size of a real shot. Regardless, we had fun with our rings. We met several groups of bachelors, and schmoozed with them long enough for them to buy us a round.

Next we headed to Mixx, a club at the Borgata. Shot after shot....after drink....A insisted that we all take a shot of Absolut, her favorite. After another hour she could barely walk. True to our history, she punched someone for calling her a light weight, yelled at the valet, called some girls staring at her fat asses, and continued with a severe case of cursing-tourette syndrome until we got her to bed. It was funny, fun and familiar....I miss these friends so much!

A didn't remember much of the night the next morning, but that was OK. She made the most of her fabulous night out - as for her fiance, he was hurting from his night just as much as she was.

Because sometimes, you just need a lil Bob Marley

Dont worry about a thing,

cause every little thing gonna be all right.

Singin: dont worry about a thing,

cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Rise up this mornin,

Smiled with the risin sun,

Three little birds

Pitch by my doorstep

Singin sweet songs

Of melodies pure and true,

Sayin, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:)

Singin: dont worry bout a thing,

cause every little thing gonna be all right.

Singin: dont worry (dont worry) bout a thing,

cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Rise up this mornin,

Smiled with the risin sun,

Three little birds

Pitch by my doorstep

Singin sweet songsOf melodies pure and true,

Sayin, this is my message to you-ou-ou:

Singin: dont worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!

Every little thing gonna be all right. dont worry!

Singin: dont worry about a thing - I wont worry!

cause every little thing gonna be all right.

Singin: dont worry about a thing,

cause every little thing gonna be all right - I wont worry!

Singin: dont worry about a thing,

cause every little thing gonna be all right.

Singin: dont worry about a thing, oh no!

cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Oh how far we have come

My friend sent the below article by Lily Tomlin to me this morning and I couldn't help but laugh. Although we have come so far in the workplace, I believe that #8 is of the utmost importance regardless of what you do. Enjoy:)

*******

I was born 68 years ago – three years before the article below was written. My mother’s O.B. doctor came into her hospital room after she’d recovered from anesthesia and identified the sex of her newborn baby girl — me — by saying, "Mrs. Tomlin, congratulations! You’ve got a brand new little dishwasher."For International Women’s Day, a friend sent me a fuzzy photocopy of a page from something called Transportation Magazine, 1943. It was written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II.

1943 Guide to Hiring Women

Eleven tips on getting more efficiency out of women employees: there’s no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of time the fact that a minute of two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a women – it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed enough in keeping women happy.

******

Well, they have the "keep women happy" part right but "Husky" girls? Give me a break!

Speak louder

Saturday night I had a lovely dinner with two friends that I first met in NYC. They both now live in the DC area - and one used to be the most outrageous party girl. She actually introduced me to the Manhattan social scene. Since then, she has become a mother and this Saturday was her first big night out.

We had dinner at Mezza Luna on 19th and M, then moved on to 9:30 Club to watch The Speaks perform. Our one friend is close with the band - and after grooving to the rock music we headed off the their after party. My hope was to meet the drummer with nice biceps, but he wasn't there.

Alcohol, dinner, friends, laughs, dancing, craziness.....I wish more nights were like this.

This weekend = Fabulous.